Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Conversations from the edge

An excerpt from a conversation I had on my run tonight.

Effin' J: So, you kind of let me down during that 10k on Monday.

Garmin 310 XT: I let YOU down?

Effin' J: Well, yes. I have a lot of trust that you know what you're doing and will give me accurate information so I don't have to think when I race.

Garmin 310 XT: Listen. Do you now how hard it is for me to give you good readings? I have a lot to deal with: faulty satellites, tree cover, reduced speed of propagation in the troposphere and ionosphere. Do you know how hard I work to give you a GDOP value greater than 5?

Effin' J: I know. But, I guess I just like to think that I can trust that what you tell me is accurate.

Garmin 310 XT: Here's the thing. I hang out, strapped to your wrist every day, enduring rain, heat, your nasty sweat dripping across my face, and then there's the chlorine in the pool when you make me pool run with you. You put me through a lot and I rarely complain. I give you everything you need to succeed in your running. You just can't see that, can you?

Effin' J: I guess not. Some of my running friends have suggested that I need to break up with you. You know: stop taking you to races and stop wearing you during some of my workouts.

Garmin 310 XT: You and your friends suck. I am not the problem here. You are the problem. I give you perfectly good information and you are the one that reacts to it. I never tell you to slow down when you read the pace on my display. I don't coerce you into looking at me every 5 seconds toward the end of a race only to become discouraged with how slow you are going. That's all on you missy.

Effin' J: You know, you're probably right. I can choose what data I want you to show me, and I really don't have to look at you during the race. We can just have fun reminiscing after the race when I download your data into my computer.

Garmin 310 XT: See. Now you're getting it.

Effin' J: Okay. I'll give it a try. I have a race on Saturday and will only use you as a stopwatch when I take splits at the mile markers.

Garmin 310 XT: While I hate to be underutilized, because I am so much more than a stopwatch, I do understand why you need to do this. Use me as you must.

Effin' J: Deal.

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  1. That's funny. Garmin 310 XT is pretty clever - she/he also has to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Hope you have fun reminiscing after the race Saturday - and that it's a fast race.

    Thinking about watches - I never had this conversation with my '80s Casio 30-lapper ;)

  2. Thanks, Ewen. A friend just clued me in to the fact that the race is on Sunday. Not sure why I thought it was Saturday. That means one more day of taper!