I realize that these symptoms could be indicative of a larger medical problem, but I feel it necessary to exhaust some home remedy options before attempting to navigate the labyrinth of HMO care. So far, I have tried watching my salt intake, eliminating all alcohol consumption (gulp), and taking over-the-counter diuretics to relieve the water retention. None of these have reduced the feeling of having a built-in CamelBak around my midriff.
I found myself at Whole Paycheck over the weekend in the herbal remedy aisle and decided to take drastic action. I pretty much did an eeny, meeny, miny, mo on the "herbal cleanse" shelf and found a 7-day raw food cleanse that promised results. It was hard to tell exactly what results I might expect, but I thought it was worth a shot. I think I'm probably supposed to be changing my eating habits to correspond with the spiritual intent of this product, but that's not practical for me given my training load.
I started the cleanse Monday, so I am in the 3rd day. What I found out after I dropped the $30 on this product is that it is baby-shit-mixed-with-cat-vomit flavor. It was not clearly labeled as such, but internet reviews of the product confirmed it. I have managed to choke down the various treatments daily, hoping that I'll wake up feeling miraculous the next day.
I began questioning this plan last night when I felt like absolute crap during my workout. I had 12 miles (in the 90-degree heat, of course) that included 10 minutes at tempo (5:56 pace), then a 4 x 1000 breakdown (600m @ 5k goal pace, 200m @ 1500m goal pace, 200m @ 5k goal pace) w/2 minute jog rest. I barely managed to hold my paces and had to extend the rest between the 3rd and 4th repeats to do so. It all felt much harder than I wanted. I hydrated like the dickens after the run and was pleased that my body did not hold the liquid hostage. Perhaps coincidentally, I was back to my normal weight (-3 lbs. of water weight) this morning and had lost the CamelBak.
When I initially woke up this morning, I felt like I had been hit by a bus. Luckily, this feeling passed after I lingered in bed a bit longer. I have felt even better as the day's progressed. I normally don't buy into all of the homeopathic garbage about cleanses releasing toxins from your system, blah, blah, blah. However, I really want to believe that this is what's happening. I want to believe that the shit-barf-flavored sludge I consume before bed is cleaning me out and that the toxins are being incinerated inside my body, playing ring-around-the-rosy for a couple of days, before being banished for good.
Luckily, I don't have any brutal workouts scheduled for the next few days so I can keep letting those toxins loose before I ask my legs to run 4 laps fast around the track on Saturday.